I visited Steve's grave today. Now, thanks to the weather, the monument company won't be able to set the marker until it gets warm enough to pour the footer. I got a plastic vase with some silk flowers in it, one of the kind with the spike on the bottom that you poke in the ground so it won't blow over. I painted Steve's name on it. That was the only marker there. It originally had some Christmas flowers in it, but I've been changing them every so often. When I got there today, someone stole it, and it looked like they had been jumping up and down on the grave or something besides. Now why would someone do that? Steve never had an enemy in his life, and there was no monetary value involved. Someone's mother must be really proud of the child she raised.
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The weather finally cleared up. It rained nearly all the snow off last night, then today the sun came out and warmed everything up enough that it was actually pleasant to be outside. I took care of some more errands and paperwork this morning, then took the scenic route home and enjoyed the beautiful day. Had to come home when I ran my wheelchair battery down! :)
When I got back, I decided to tackle my kitchen. I've been putting this off, but today I cleaned up several of my large size countertop appliances, wrapped them in plastic and stored them out in the shop. Some are things that I have smaller sizes that are sufficient for just one person, others are things I simply won't need till the next time I have a houseful of company. Storage space is an issue. Looking at things that remind me I won't be using them every day now that I don't cook for Steve is a bigger issue. Like it or not I have to make this my workspace now. So I have banished the large fryer, George Foreman grill, and the biggest crock pot. Also the pasta machine, since I am not going to be making homemade noodles for one. They will be fine out there until I need them to cook a big meal. The next time I am able to work in here, I am going to thin out my pots and pans. Some will go out in the shed and some to Goodwill.
I spent Christmas in Indiana. My brother and his family go out there to visit his in-laws, and this year they invited him to bring me along. I really appreciated the chance to spend time with them. I started teaching my niece to crochet, a skill passed down from my grandmother to my mother to me and now to another generation, if she continues to enjoy it and sticks with it. Andy's mother- and father-in-law were wonderful hosts who really made me feel at home, even though they only met me once before at Andy and Debbie's wedding. They live on a farm that has been in their family for a hundred years.
It was good to get home, though. I missed the fuzzies. I had boarded Biscuit at the vet so she would get her medicine on time. She meowed all the way home. She couldn't wait to get out of her carrier and explore to make sure nothing had been moved. The rest of them stayed home. I was afraid they would demolish my house while I was gone, but they didn't wreak too much havoc.
I took a cab downtown today. Cabs are expensive, but I had errands to run and I needed groceries. There was still too much snow to take my chair outside. That meant I had to walk a couple of blocks from the post office to the grocery store. I make no guarantees about what my joints are going to feel like tomorrow, but at least I know I can still walk a short ways if I need to. It was rather nice to get out in the crowds and see a few other people.
There is going to be a performance of Fiddler on the Roof on campus next month. I hope I can afford to go. Steve and I always enjoyed it when we got the chance to go to a musical. The first one we got to see was Cats, at the Ohio Theater at least twenty years ago, probably longer. I know I was young enough that sipping a glass of white wine at intermission was still a Big Deal. Good times.
My husband has been gone a month today. I expected to spend the whole day crying, but I didn't. I think I'm starting to come to terms. I will never stop loving him or missing him. But I will find a way to live the rest of my life until it is time for me to join him. I did housework, and while the weather was nice I made it over to the cemetery. I ran a few errands and worked on my cross-stitch for a while. It wasn't an awful day. I think I'll know I've turned the corner when I'm able to write again, but that will be a while. Steve was my beta reader and my cheering section. I wrote for him. I need to find my voice again and I'm not sure yet how to do that.
This picture was taken a couple of years ago. Steve took me to an art museum, but he quickly lost interest and found a quiet spot to read while I explored the galleries.